Why is Christian Despised?

Recently, I read an article (中国大学生为何信仰基督) about why Chinese college students are becoming Christians. I think it is a good article. It talks about how lost the young generation is and how they try to find belief in a society with all kinds of problems. Believing in Christianity has given them a new way to look at life and live their lives. The rapid growing young Christians in China actually owes to the China government. The no-religion policy throughout 1950s to 1970s cleared out all other religions and made a way for Christianity to prosper in China.

What shocked me is some of the comments for this article. Some people say that the college students who believed in Christianity are stupid or insane. Some say that only losers would believe in Christianity. Some say that Chinese christian are not truly believing but using Christianity as a pretense for following trend, or finding girls, or their worship of western culture. Clearly, the world is not very kind to Christians.

In the contrast, the world is becoming so tolerable with any other things: you can be gay, you can do abortion, you can be a playboy, you can live whatever life you want to. It is only a matter of choice. Many people would say: "I may not agree with such living style, but I respect other people's choices."

The reason that Christians are not respected, not understood is because Christianity is not a life style. It is much more radical. It says "whoever believes in Jesus will have eternal life, who do not believe will be condemned to hell."  This idea is simply too scary. They feel angry---who are you to say that I should go to hell? They feel judged---why you Christians feel you are better than me? So they resort to resent Christians. Surely, they find many ways to justify themselves. "Look at those weird Christians: they are believing in some stupidly insane stuff, they talks all about God, and they try to drag you to their church and conform you to be one of them." I personally felt judged by other Chinese students when I told them I am a christian. They look at me with contempt and think to themselves: "stay away from her, now she is a disease."

But all the judgement from the world is fine with Christian. The joy of knowing Christ prevails over all the sufferings in this world. The hope of being with God forever in heaven is so overwhelming that we can endure through pains and tears in this short life.

Hot topics?

In engineering, there are always hot topics and non-hot topics. Whenever there is a hot topic, it's like everyone is working on it. No one wants to be left behind. More precisely, everyone seems to want to get some money out of it. Hot topics come and go, leaving behind lots of people with knowledge and skills that are not valued anymore.

When I first started my PhD, I thought I was working on a relatively "interesting" area. But as I am close to graduation, everybody seems to despise this area. They already moved on to the current hot topics like big data. Everywhere you hear people say: "Oh, xx area is not worthwhile studying anymore." When you submit a paper, reviewers tell you that they are not interested in research in this old area anymore. When you submit a propose, funding agencies tell you that they definitely don't give funding to this dying area. When you try to find a job, companies emphasize that they are looking for people working on this and this hot topics. No one values your experience in the old non-hot area.

Now I see why mathematician is the best job in the world. No one tells a mathematician what he or she ought to work on. No one tells the mathematicians to work on some hot topics. Because saying this, it's like telling the mathematicians that maybe you are not too stupid to work on this famous problem, this long-open problem; it's an insult to the mathematician's intelligence.

Instaparty: Celebrate for nothing by fancy dinner at home

Yesterday, I was thinking that I got a lovely little black dress (LBD) for the new year, yet hadn't got any chance to wear it. I am a graduate student and work in a lab everyday. I don't have any important events that I could wear this LBD.

Alas! I fell into the hole of adultitis. I was passively waiting for the important event and grumbling about not being able to wear my elegant LBD. As Kim&Jason has taught me lots of ways to escape the adulthood, I decided to have a fancy dinner at home to celebrate NOTHING (or wearing my LBD :)).

After I got off work, I went to grocery store and bought some pasta and a bottle of non-alcoholic red grape wine. I got home and cooked myself a delicious meal. Then I put on my LBD with the pearl necklace (which I also felt not much chance to wear). Poured myself a glass of grape wine and enjoyed the meal!

Thanks to ipad's camera, even nobody was there to take a picture for me, I was able to snap a picture.

Actually, I think it would be much more fun if I have the table pasta like this Michigan Mom. Maybe I'll do it next time.

No Hurry, No Worry.

In "Charlotte's Web", Charlotte told Wilbur: no hurry, no worry. Ever since I read that, I tried to tell myself "no hurry, no worry" whenever I feel the rush to do my work or worry about my future. Everything turns out to be perfectly okay. Surprisingly, I even got praise from my advisor for this attitude.

After being in a conference for a week, I am behind my schedule. Today, I am worried that I couldn't get my qualify exam down before this semester ends. Then, I remember this quote and I tell myself: just try your best, but it is always okay to postpone the exam to the beginning of next semester.

Recently, I realize that I may not be smart and I am very slow at my PhD. progress. But with the assurance of a plan for my life, I have the peace in my heart to do things no hurry and no worry.

Trip to New Bern

We drove to the place that GPS directed us --- the New Bern Downtown. I couldn't stop feeling that we got to the wrong place because there was no skyscrapers to be seen. We got off our car and walked around. The city was so quiet that I hated myself for breaking the silence at the same time could not button up my lips as I could not stand such almost absolute silence. We noticed that the houses next to the streets are very old, many of which were built in 1800s. As we saw bears in front of most of the houses, we were sure that we came to the right place.

New Bern, the original capital of North Carolina, seats about two hours drive east of Raleigh (the current capital and the place I live). New Bern was settled in 1710 as a Swiss immigrant settlement. It was named after Bern (the capital of Switzerland), which means "Bear" in German. Because of that, the city deployed about fifty bears statues in downtown New Bern. It was fun for us trying to find all those bears, each of which is colorful and interesting.

 

Walking several blocks toward the bay, we saw boats and people fishing. An old church that was built in 1700s is seated in the middle of downtown. Next to the church is a playground with kids playing and a graveyard, which seems strange for me that as a Chinese I think graveyard scary and children would not dare to play around. Most of buildings are typical American style in red, occasionally blue or green. So it was very surprising to see a yellow, mid-east style building (probably a Muslim church) seats next to the bay.

Learned from Wikipedia that New Bern developed a rich culture and have the oldest active theater in America---the Masonic Theater. We looked for the Masonic theater with imagination that it would be magnificent. With some difficulties, we found it, which turned out to be an ordinary looking rundown building. Maybe that is why New Bern is fascinating: no skyscrapers, no fancy shopping stores, but a peaceful and quiet town with rich history and diverse culture.

小孩子，小大人

最近在网上看到一些妈妈们讨论教育小孩子多么不容易。看着感觉真的是不容易，疼爱又不能惯着，又要培养独立性格，等等一堆的事。而且我感觉现在的小孩子大都有点难伺候，都有点任性。
网上有个妈妈说自己女儿8岁，就老是要买某个牌子的衣服，说同学都穿这个牌子的衣服；要求装饰房间，说其他小朋友的房间都很漂亮；出去吃饭竟然还说她妈妈英语有口音，让她觉得丢脸。。。
反过来，也有的小孩子真是成熟的让我佩服。上周末去了一对韩国夫妇家里玩，他们家有四个小孩，最大和最小的是女孩，中间两个男孩。大女儿叫Grace，今年 11岁，之前我也见过。这次在一起吃饭聊天，我发现Grace真的是很成熟，或许是家里老大的原因，一点都没有小孩子气，跟她聊天就和跟同龄人聊天一样。 她的两个弟弟，一个七八岁的样子，另一个四岁，挺淘气的但很有规矩，大人一管就听。让我惊叹的是，Grace也会管教她的这两个弟弟，而且他们真的服她 管。Grace很有姐姐的威严，虽然大了就几岁。Grace给我的感觉是一点都不像那种叛逆的tennager，说话的时候很有礼貌，自己的观点表达的很 清楚，帮忙照顾弟弟妹妹，也不追求穿着，很朴素。我真的蛮佩服的，想想十一岁时的自己，为了一点小事都和姐妹们吵的不可开交呢。
看到网上很多同学都结婚了，有的已经生子的，相信教育小孩子的事也不远了吧。可是如何才能教育好还真是门学问。像我这样成熟程度和11岁的Grace差不多的（甚至还不如），还是先自己成长好吧，自己成长好了才有资格教育别人吧。

Goodbye Summer 2011

I slacked the past several days savoring this late summer, wearing skirts as much as possible, having picnic, watching movies in the outdoor, sleeping in sleeping bag on the floor(pretending doing camping). I want to do things that I couldn't be able to do once the cool fall or the cold winter is here. Summer'11 will soon end. But I will remember it: the struggles in my heart as I become more and more aware of my weaknesses, the fun I have in my blanket tower, the beautiful sunshine and the sea in outer banks beach, and the lovely walk in the rainy Chicago downtown.

I will welcome the fall by going to the first football game of this season, in red to support Wolfpack. Red means Go!

P.S.
Clearly, Mr. Zinsser is much much better at savoring the end of the summer and the beginning of the fall. http://theamericanscholar.org/peter-mcguires-holiday/

"Daughter Not Doctor!"

In my younger and more vulnerable years, some teachers did things that hurt me so much that even made me feel inferior.

1: "You think you are the only one who knows how to calculate this?"

I went to kindergarten when I was four years old. Because I started going to school at the same time as my big sister, I was the youngest student in that class. From my parents' memory, when I was a little girl, I was always timid for strangers and serious people.

Unfortunately for me, my math teacher happened to be a very strict and serious person. One day, he asked us to do some simple calculations, like "1+2=?". I started calculating while reading softly the questions and my answers. I am not a person that likes to show-off myself. I simply did not know that I should not read out my answers in case that other students heard and copied my answers rather than solving the problems by themselves.

Suddenly, I heard the teacher said loudly and angrily: "Be quiet! You think you are the only person who knows how to calculate this?" I felt terrible about myself as if I did some horrible things.

2: "Daughter Not Doctor!"

I started learning English when I went to junior middle school. The English teachers in my hometown-a very small and remote town-knew little about how to teach English. They simply asked us to memorize words and read paragraphs in the textbooks. My English teacher was a handsome young man. When he first entered the classroom, he started a speech in English. We, English beginners who couldn't speak a complete sentence, marveled at his English, which we couldn't understand at all. By doing that, he tried to establish his authority in the class.

One day in the English class, he asked me to read a paragraph in front of the class. I read it without noticing that I mistakenly pronounced "Daughter" as "Doctor". He asked me to read that paragraph again expecting me to correct myself. I immediately knew I did something wrong, but I had no idea what I did wrong. I read it again still making that same mistake. He asked me to re-read again and again. I don't remember how many times I read that paragraph. Eventually, he told me:"It's daughter not doctor!"

I remember that I hated myself making such stupid mistake and I felt that I was humiliated in front of all my classmates. Even today, I can see the picture of a young girl standing in the classroom hanging her head in shame.

Whenever I remember those things, I wish I could go back in time to protect that little girl, to tell those teachers that there is a better way to correct mistakes of students, to ensure the young me that you are not inferior because of those mistakes. Also because of this, I wish I could become a teacher not only to give students knowledge, but also to help them to become the people they are supposed to be.

#5 Mad Scientist

#5 Mad Scientist: Become a Scientist. Conduct a silly experiment.

OK. Before I start, I have to warn you that the experiment I did would seem super-duper weird for Americans, and also silly for people from modern world with a tool called microwave.

What I did is: I want to find out how long it takes to heat a mug of milk using hot water.

First, I put a mug of milk into a pot with 5 cups of cold water in it. Then, I started to heating the water at 250 Watt and the milk was heated through hot water.

I tasted the milk using the spoon in it. After 9 minutes 26 seconds, I think it is just right for drinking. I got the mug out and enjoyed the good, hot milk.

#8 Doodlesmile

#8 Doodlesmile: Draw a funny picture and hide it in an unexpected place for someone else to find.

About a month ago, all the guys in my lab started to play a Facebook game: the Zombie Lane. We enjoyed playing it and sometimes even discussed how to gain points more efficiently.

One evening, I was playing the game in the lab for about half an hour. After that, I felt that it was funny to see all these PhDs finding interest in a kind of silly game. I decided to draw a picture of the game and hide it under the laptop of the guy who first started  and invited us to play this game.

Here is the picture.

A girl is holding a gun trying to shot zombies in order to prevent them entering her garden yard.

Have fun! : )

#7 Indulge Thyself

#7 Indulge Thyself: Spend 15-30 minutes doing something you love that you don't often have the chance to do.

This definitely goes to my drawing. I enjoy drawing some silly pictures, but usually don't have time to do it. Here are several pictures I had.

This is inspired by a famous Japanese cartoon character "Xiao Wan Zi". She is a cute girl, who always dreams of being a princess and falling in love with a rich Indian prince. I loved watching this cartoon, and was given nickname "Xiao Yu" - the best friend of "Xiao Wan Zi" in this cartoon.

The last one is in memory of my hometown: Weifang, the Hometown of Kite, which is also famous for its long white refreshing radish (look here to know radish). I love the last one the most. But I feel ashamed that I never flew a kite. I think I really need to find time to do that. I miss my hometown.

I had a wonderful time drawing and coloring these pictures!

#4 Souvenir from Childhood

#4 Souvenir from Childhood: Add something childlike (not childish) to your workspace or home.

I have delayed a long time to post the challenges I finished recently. Finally, I determined to take time to do this.

This challenge was overcome by the help of a gift. :)

On a hot Monday morning about a month ago, I was walking to campus in a blue mood. I was struggling with hard decisions. Suddenly, I saw this little solider on the grass. At that moment, I felt that this must be the gift from God. I picked it up and made my decision to fight the war rather than quitting. 

It stands perfectly on my computer screen. It keeps reminding me to fight the difficulties I encounter in my work and life.

As you can see, I actually have several childlike things in my workplace. :)

I also have lots of childlike or childish things in my home. But I got one more for my home. I bought this when I met it in a small shop in Outer Banks. It reminds me a similar gift my sister received when we were young. We girls loved that gift. Today, I still love it!

I put it on my desk with my Minnie, my flower, and the photo with my sister. :)

I hope you like them as I do.

Summer Reading

最近刚读完，正在读，和打算读的书。
刚读完的：

《A Bend in the Road》by Nicholas Sparks, 爱情小说，夏日轻松读物。

《Hatchet》by Gary Paulsen，儿童小说，Newbery获奖作品，轻松易读。
中文译为《手斧男孩》。

《Mere Christianity》by C.S. Lewis，关于宗教信仰的，采用西方擅长的逻辑推理方式。
很难懂，很多段落读过后又返回去重读才弄清楚他的逻辑和观点。
中文译为《返璞归真》。

正在读：

《Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption》
by Laura Hillenbrand。
学校图书馆10月份的book discussion是讨论这本书，看Amazon上评论不错，拿来读读。
该作者的另外一本书《Seabiscuit: An American Legend》反响也很好，有机会可以一读。

《The Great Gatsby》by F. Scott Fitzgerald。
算是名著了，一直想读没读的来，终于开了个头。 

《My Life》by Bill Clinton，这书暑假一开始就翻开了，可是这书太长了，
有很多事情、人名什么的很繁多琐碎，对于不关心政治的我来说，要想读完需要一定毅力。

《How People Change》by Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp。
朋友借给我很久了，因为并不容易读，时常读读停停，还是坚持读完，不能半途而废。

准备读完以上四本后读的：

《The Newbery Collection (Eleven Books)》, Newbery早期获奖作品的合集。
买了很久了一直搁置。其实儿童小说一直是我的喜爱读的，所以还是打算读一读这个合集。

《Hatchet》的后续四部。

《The Communist Manifesto》by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels.
著名的《共产主义宣言》。成为党员好几年了，《共产党宣言》没读过显得有点荒谬，
这共产党的根本都不知道还谈什么信仰共产主义呢。。。
有点好奇马克思和恩格斯在这本书里的观点。希望党给我足够的毅力读完， 哈哈。

《The Problem of Pain》by C.S. Lewis，想必又是大师一本论证严密的书，
希望我能在读这本书的过程中培养严密的逻辑思维。

多读书，少上网！

向往的生活

向往的生活 2011-06-14 03:54 (分类:daily life)

大学时第一次看三毛的书，从那时起就着迷于她那种自由自在、无拘无束的生活。那种流浪在沙漠的自由，与荷西浪漫生活的幸福，都让我羡慕不已。希望有一天，我也可以放下所有别人加于我的期望，和心爱的人一起去流浪。

那一天一直还是没有来。我总也没法放下手上的事情：学习，工作。我开始安慰自己：重要的是有颗自由的心，你可以在书中去世界任何地方流浪。

老老实实的生活，继续学习、工作，在看书中寻求那最初去流浪的向往，我甚至以为这样的日子是完美的。我有心爱的人，过着规律的生活，有空就让心在书中自由地畅游，慢慢的，我甚至忘了我最初的梦想。

可是最近生活的一些不顺利让我意识到，我现在沉闷的生活和我当初的愿望差别实在太大。我没法做着自己不喜欢的事情，仅靠少得可怜的看书时间来拯救我的生活。

我想要退却，就这一次，去做自己喜欢做的事情，去过自己想要的生活：去和小孩子一起玩耍，给他们讲故事，肆无忌惮的大笑；安静的黄昏，面朝大海，坐在椅子上看书；温暖的小屋里，和心爱的人一起吃饭，谈笑风生。这样的生活该是多么美好！

然而，我还是没法一走了之。一方面是不想把生活的负担都丢到心爱的人身上，不想让亲人失望；另一方面也是在责问自己：难道遇到这点小小的挫折就要退出吗？你越挫越勇的精神哪里去了？

如果说人生不易，生活本是艰难，那人活在世上的意义是什么呢？偶然从一个老人口中寻到答案：生活的困难是为了让我们成长，让我们变坚强；活在这世上是为了用自己积极向上的精神感染别人，给困苦中的人们带来欢乐，让他们的人生也变得有希望，有意义。

所以我不能就这么退缩，要去战胜这些困难，去成长，增强心里那生命的光，给黑暗中的人带去希望的光。

Challenge #3 Says You: Do something that is typically seen as inappropriate for someone of your age

#3: Says You-做一件和你年龄不符的事情 2011-06-07 04:32 (分类:daily life)

#3: Says You

The Challenge: Do something that is typically seen as inappropriate for someone of your age.
第三个挑战拖了很久了, 看Kim搭了一个毯子堡垒, 在里面工作; Jason呢则去麦当劳要了一个儿童欢乐套餐.
都很有创意, 弄得我一直在想要做什么事情, 一件被认为是和我年龄不符的事情.
下午在写东西, 一页上剩下了些空白, 忽然想在下面画幅画.
小的时候就希望自己有五颜六色的彩笔, 可以给所有的东西都涂上颜色.
现在可以很容易的买到一盒各色彩笔, 却再也没有想过要拿它们来给画上颜色.
其实上颜色可以很有趣, 把东西填充成自己想要的颜色, 可以产生很好玩的效果.
于是画了一个很幼稚的画, 并为他上了颜色.

寄信回家

寄信回家 2011-06-05 09:56 (分类:daily life)

昨天早上给家写了封信, 给家寄了来美国后的第一封信, 附一张照片和北卡的明信片.
信很长, 写了自己对父母的一些话, 还有自己来美国后的一些改变.
照片是唯一一张来了这边照得洗出来的照片, 是去年1月在杜克照的.
翻译了下明信片上关于北卡的介绍, 翻译出来感觉好土. 比如, 昵称是柏油脚跟 (Tar Heel), 州歌是老北州 (The old north state).
去邮局问了工作人员, 说收信人地址写中文就可以, 只要国家名写英文就好.
很高兴的买了98美分的邮票, 投到邮筒里后才想起来, 忘写家里地址的邮编了...
希望能送到吧.

Challenge #1 Different World: Immersing yourself in a field you know nothing about

After reading a post on Kim&Jason Escape Adulthood, I started to know the Escape Plan. And there are people seriously overcoming the challenges in the Escape Plan. I thought I can also do that to make more fun for my life. So here I go, the first challenge.

#1 Challenge Different World: Spend at least 15 minutes immersing yourself in a field you know nothing about.


I thought for several minutes to find things I know nothing about. Actually, I found there are lots of things waiting me to explore, such as video game, golf, instruments, etc.

I remember trying to buy a bottle of red wine last year, but could not decide which one to buy, red wine or white wine? Eventually, I had some sparkling wines. They are pretty good. But I still know nothing about wine. How is wine made? What are the differences between red wine, white wine, sparkling wine, and champagne?

So I decided to learn more about wine. I read some introductions of wine (2B A Snob). I learned some new words related to wine, and how the color of wine comes from, and lots more. I am glad I did this. Definitely, I will learn more.

So far, the first challenge seems easy for me. I will go on doing the rest challenges. :)

#2 即兴派对：找个庆祝的理由，庆祝一下

即兴派对：找个庆祝的理由，庆祝一下 2011-05-14 00:04 (分类:daily life)

Challenge ＃2 Instaparty: Find a reason to celebrate and do something to celebrate it.
(挑战＃2 即兴派对： 找个值得庆祝的理由，做些事情来庆祝一下！)

昨天的时候想要庆祝沉默的。因为上火牙又疼了，咽东西也疼，不想多说话，所以想庆祝下沉默吧。可惜下午和别人去逛韩国超市了，又重新挑战了一次“新世界”：让自己进入到了都是韩语的新世界。说了不少话，心里想庆祝沉默还是作罢吧。
所以今天就重新来庆祝一点别的东西。因为吃东西困难，西瓜成了我的主要食物。所以今天就庆祝西瓜吧！
Happy Watermelon Day!


今天中饭，晚饭就都是西瓜了，争取把这个西瓜吃完。有人来做客的话就请吃西瓜:)
当然少不了穿西瓜红颜色的衣服。

其实上面的照片是很久之前的，但是今天确实还穿了这条裤子，和同一个颜色的外套，鞋子也是粉红色的。
办公也要用漂亮的西瓜记事本

这西瓜其实不是我的，我的是苹果的，凑合一下吧。
这日志字体颜色已经是最接近西瓜红的了。。。


Happy Watermelon Day!

走路去学校

2011-04-27 23:01 (分类:daily life)

基本都是走路去学校，半个小时，正好锻炼了。几乎都是一个人走，边走边听英语，这是我每天坚持学英语的时间，所以即使有校车，也宁愿走路。
今天早上像往常一样走路，出了家门拐了个弯，看到两个美国学生正过马路，然后就在我后面走了。离的很近，我想让他们走前面吧，可是他们也不着急，我走前面呢又走不快，感觉有些尴尬。心里想他们可能走到下一个校车站的地方就在那儿坐车了，于是无视他们继续走路。
下个车站在路口，过了之后拐弯，结果发现他们还在我后面走。唉，尴尬。。。
终于其中一个美国人快走了两步跟我打个招呼，解释说：明显我们都是走着去学校，这样一前一后不说话有些尴尬，所以就上前介绍认识。感谢他们上前打招呼，免了剩下的一路怪异。
边走边聊，其中一个人还比较爱说话，另外一个很腼腆，基本没说两句话。其实很多美国人挺腼腆的，尤其面对外国人，你不主动开口，他们也不会。
哈哈，在美国待了近两年之后，终于可以听到人说我英语好，欣慰自己的努力结出果实。可是，谁听见美国人夸美国人英语好了？所以我的英语离Native English Speaker还差的远，还需要继续努力！

P.S. 后来发现其中一个人竟然和我上同一个课，怪不得我总觉得在哪儿见过。

不知觉中的成长

 ［人人网日志导入］

不知觉中的成长 2008-08-23 22:41 (分类:daily life)

最近其实感觉自己变化还是蛮多的，
只是不怎么写出来了，
或许是学会隐藏感情 保护自我了吧，
也或者开始学会考虑别人的感受，
当日志可能会被我们在乎的人看到而我们不知道他们看到会是怎样的感受时；
当日志可能会给我们在乎的人带来麻烦时，
我们会犹豫，
害怕他们会因此而尴尬
害怕他们还有自己会因此受到伤害，
终于还是不敢动笔了。

怎么说呢，或许成长是一点点不知觉中的事情。
那天看到网上一篇日志说恋爱要学会两件事，
一件是更了解自己的需求，
另一件是学会关心他人。
感觉还是蛮对的，
其实我们所经历的每一件事不都应该学习这两件事吗？
只有这样才会有一个更好的自己。

终于认清楚，
其实很多自己觉得对自己很重要的人并没有自己以为的那么重要，
有他们的生活更精彩，
没有他们我仍然可以幸福。
要做幸福的人，
不是因为别人而幸福的人，
而是做一个能让别人因为和你在一起而幸福的人。

明白这个道理后，
感觉自己像是长大了一些。
时刻提醒自己，
自己在别人心中并不是那么重要的人，
更要紧的是提醒自己他们在你心里也远没有你想象的那么重要，
你永远都没有自己以为的那么爱他们。
这样失望会少一些感动会多一些，
自己的依赖和小孩脾气也该会收敛一些吧。

其实有时候自己这样的小孩脾气或许只是因为自己不愿意长大，
但是如果有人拿我当小妹我会很开心。
那天朋友说我“暑假怎么不回家看看”，
后面加了一句“真是的”
感觉像是大哥哥怪小妹在外贪玩忘记了回家一样，
感觉很幸福。呵呵

走在一条路上，
以为走过这条路的同学会给我很多的建议和帮助，
后来才发现其实很多时候路只能我们自己走。
那天收到那两封邮件时心里不是失望，
是更加清楚的知道了自己以后要一个人上路。
知道这点后反而感觉踏实很多。
有别人的帮助我们会更轻松，
没有也不必失望，
因为人生有些事情注定要自己来完成。
我们生命的轨迹再接近也无法融合，
这是命定的事实，
是人的本质所决定的。
很多东西自己不经历永远不能体会其中的滋味，
有些弯路一定要自己走过才会真的成长起来，
人生的智慧就在这样的过程中慢慢积淀积累。

很想对曾经喜欢自己而自己却没有用心对待的人说声对不起，
现在想来真希望自己那时能够珍惜你们，
哪怕是让自己尝试去看到你们的好。
也想对自己爱的人说声感谢，
那是我人生成长的一段路，
感谢曾经有你们在。

其实，所有的朋友，
不管是我们爱的还是爱我们的，
都是我们成长路上的插曲，
他们陪伴我们走过人生的这段成长之路后就会离开，
不管他在我们人生中曾经多么重要，
也不管那段记忆多么美好抑或痛苦，
再舍不得也要离开，
再恨之入骨也要一起走，
直至你的成长已不再需要有他们在。
他们对于我们只是帮助我们走过那段成长的路，
除了感谢，
我们不需要太留恋，
别人于你只是成长路上的云烟，
你于别人也是如此。
说声感谢后我们该以更好自己继续走自己的人生。
忽然看到泰戈尔的这样一句话，
或许更好的表达了我上面罗里啰唆的一堆，
“我们如海鸥之于波涛相遇似的，遇见了，走近了。
海鸥飞去，波涛滚滚的流开，我们也分别了。”

写得很长很乱，
有些感情自己觉得无法用语言表达，
真的感觉到自己的文字功底欠缺，呵呵。
千言万语一切尽在不言中，
心里真真正正的感到人生的美好！
这样生活长大真好！