http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/323/the-super
Act one tells a spectacular mystery story with plot twists, unforeseen danger, bizarre coincidences, unlikely heroes, even more unlikely bad guys. I love it!
Moreover, I love the background music "Por Una Cabeza" (一步之差).
At the first beginning of Act One, I thought the super is just like the car salesman in the movie "True Lies" starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, telling spectacular lies to impress people.
So, I think it is perfect when the background music - "Por Una Cabeza" - is played just like at the end of "True Lies" to mock the super as a liar.
But, later, I find that there are substantial truth behind the super's stories. I am marveled how the music and the name of the movie "True Lies" are perfect for this story.
Transcript of Act One
Act One. The Super Always Rings Twice.
Ira Glass
This act is like one of those mystery novels that they sell at the airport with plot twists, unforeseen danger, bizarre coincidences, unlikely heroes, even more unlikely bad guys. And at its heart, of course, a super, a super named Bob. And like any airport novel, the story begins with a crime. Here's Jack.Jack Hitt
During New York City's great crime wave of the 1980s, getting an apartment was simple. All you had to do was commit a crime.Kevin
We had heard from a friend of a friend that if we went down and gave key money-- that is to say one month's rent; it was the going fee-- to this superintendent-- that is to say Bob-- that we would be able to get an apartment.Jack Hitt
This is my friend Kevin. He and I got our apartments in the same building on 99th Street in the early '80s by bribing the same superintendent, a guy named Bob. These were old, beat-up flats with screaming radiators and warped floors and exposed pipes. A city engineer once inspected the building and declared that it was six stories of dust held up by 100 years of paint.These were our first New York apartments. We were there to start our lives. New York was all romance, and everything was out-sized and outrageous, the buildings in Midtown, our ambition, the night life, and as we quickly discovered, our super, Bob. All sorts of things about him were truly spectacular, like, for example, the way he repaired our apartments. Here's Chris, another tenant in the building.
Chris
After we got burglarized, Bob put in safety gates for the fire escape, which he welded so that nobody could get in. But you couldn't get out in a fire, either. There was no way to open them. He told us that they were installing sliding revolving doors. He never explained what those were, but I do remember thinking to myself, how can he say they're sliding revolving doors? But he said it was such a totally straight face.Jack Hitt
Bob's work habits were a thing of wonder. I remember one time Bob showed up with his assistant, a generally talented guy named Smitty. My sink was backed up, and Bob started pouring this heavy black liquid from a gallon jug into the standing water. Smitty started backing up, and with experience as my guide, I started backing up, too. One cup, Smitty yelled, just one cup. Shut up, Bob explained.And he emptied the entire jug into the water. There were nasty rumblings, hot chemical reactions were happening somewhere in the walls. I was very scared. And suddenly, the doors below the sink where I kept my cleaning stuff, they blew open with an explosion. And this unspeakable, oily sludge poured out across the kitchen floor. Bob was so much more than just a bad handyman.
Chris
Very early on, I began to perceive Bob's talents as a fabulist. It was really painful to go down and pay the rent every month, because you had to give it to him, which meant you had to stand there and listen to 10, 15, 20 minutes of completely insane stories. A big running theme was Bob's importance in the world in general, and particularly in Brazil.Anne
I definitely remember his cattle ranch stories.Jack Hitt
This is Anne, another tenant during those early days, and now married to Chris.Chris
He had seven cattle ranches, four cattle ranches he owned in Brazil, and the seven vineyards he had in Italy. Or it might have been seven cattle ranches in Brazil and four vineyards in Italy.Anne
If you actually took him-- after he left the room and you thought about what he said, you'd think, why is he living here? Because he was like basically a king, and the village people would just welcome him.Chris
He claimed that there was a clause in the constitution of Brazil that gave him immunity from any prosecution whatsoever. And that, in fact, he could, as he put it, go and kill the president of the Brazilian state and he would still be immune from prosecution.Jack Hitt
Of course, Bob, being Bob, had an explanation for how he went from being a South American cattle baron to a New York City super.Chris
He had had two heart attacks. And his doctor had-- this is an actual story.Jack Hitt
I remember this one.Chris
His doctor had prescribed that he gain a lot of weight and move to America. So probably the first time in medical history that enormous weight gain was prescribed for a heart condition.Jack Hitt
In his own way, Bob united the building. All of us, the elderly black businessman, the Puerto Rican grandmother, the handsome Bombay immigrant, me, the Southerner in exile, we all had our favorite Bob stories. We all did our own impersonations of Bob. It was impossible not to try to out-Bob whoever was talking with an even more outlandish Bob story of your own. We collected and traded Bob stories, comparing versions, analyzing his technique.Chris
He was remarkably unfazed by any show of skepticism about these stories. There was a story about how he had once hung a bag of acid from the roof of the building to chase away the various homeless men who would, in those days, often come and congregate by the corner of this building. Bob had supposedly hung a bag of acid from the top and it would drip down steadily on them.Now, I have no idea how you hang a bag of acid, how you get the acid in the bag and put that up there. That's no small feat in itself. But of course, the best part is Bob is telling us this story at the very same time that you could lean out of the office where he's talking and see the three or four homeless guys sitting on the corner.
Jack Hitt
Sitting right there.Chris
Apparently completely unscarred or bothered by dripping acid.Jack Hitt
The other story that I always found really captured just all of Bob's essence for me was when-- every kitchen in this building has these funny, circular, fluorescent bulbs, very specialized light bulbs. They're also in the hallways out on the first floor. And mine, after 10 years of noble service, finally burnt out. And I looked at it and I thought, huh, where do you buy one of those? So I trotted on down to Bob's office one morning. And I said, Bob, the light bulb in my kitchen is burned out. And I'm just wondering, do I buy that and replace it? And if so, where do you buy them? Or do you all just replace that for me?And of course, he went into this total Bob tear. He's like, yes, that's right. You, let me tell you something, mister. Don't try to steal one of the light bulbs in the hallway. I know what you're thinking. But I've booby trapped them. And if you climb up there and you try to take the light bulb, it will blow up and shoot the glass in your eyes. And you will be blind for all time. And I said, I remember saying, so I take that to mean that I have to buy the bulb myself.
The very opposite of Bob was Allan, the landlord. If Bob was larger than life, Allan was smack in the middle, the average percentile. He had a family. He lived in White Plains. I had met his wife. Doing business with Allan was a completely routine experience. If it was a toilet to be fixed, he'd make sure the crew got there on time and got it done. Even in our biggest blowouts, he was always reasonable, civil even.
One time, things got a little testy when Allan started neglecting the old Puerto Rican folks in the building. I'd become friendly with one grandmother who showed me her tub full of green, stagnant bathwater. Allan and I had some tense words. And I and some others even held meetings to start a rent strike. But in the end, Allan gracefully withdrew, and we all went back to normal business. Back to Bob, the inscrutable, endless mystery that was Bob.
Fast forward to 1989. I had been in my apartment eight years, I had a steady job, and I was walking to work one morning. Somewhere along the way, I saw The Daily News blaring the latest tabloid crime story. Headline, "Terror Landlord." I look closer and realized it was Allan. My Allan, the landlord. The nice guy whose kids I knew.
The story was incredible. He had been arrested for murder, for hiring hit men to kill his brother-in-law, Arthur Katz, in 1980. And as the story got out, it quickly became clear that Bob was the one who had ratted Allan out. Allan was found guilty and sentenced to 25 years to life in prison, where he remains today.
More time passed. I got a new apartment in the West Village. Then I got married, had children, and later moved to another state, where Allan and Bob became memories, proof that I had lived in New York back when crack was king and the murder rates topped 2,000 a year. In the late '90s, almost a decade after I'd last seen Bob or Allan, I was working on an investigative piece about money laundering. And a source at the Treasury Department had suggested I call this really smart prosecutor in New York named John Moscow.
So I rang him up and started just yakking the way you do. I asked him if he'd handled financial crime a lot. And he was quick to say that he'd worked homicide in New York, back in the '80s, during the crime wave, when crack was king and the murder rates topped 2,000 a year. Yeah, I said, I lived there, too. I told him I was actually involved in one of those tabloid stories, mine involving a landlord who'd hired contract killers to murder his brother-in-law and then gets ratted out by the super.
There was a peculiar pause on the phone. Then Moscow said, Allan Stern, West 99th Street? I'm the guy who put him behind bars. Right away, of course, we started talking about Bob. I told him the light bulb story. Moscow had a good laugh. And then I went on, in the way we residents of 99th Street can do, and finally got to the one about Bob claiming that he had a special exemption from the Brazilian constitution and could murder anyone in Brazil. Again, there was that odd Moscow pause. And then he said, yeah, the thing is that one's kind of true.
One time, things got a little testy when Allan started neglecting the old Puerto Rican folks in the building. I'd become friendly with one grandmother who showed me her tub full of green, stagnant bathwater. Allan and I had some tense words. And I and some others even held meetings to start a rent strike. But in the end, Allan gracefully withdrew, and we all went back to normal business. Back to Bob, the inscrutable, endless mystery that was Bob.
Fast forward to 1989. I had been in my apartment eight years, I had a steady job, and I was walking to work one morning. Somewhere along the way, I saw The Daily News blaring the latest tabloid crime story. Headline, "Terror Landlord." I look closer and realized it was Allan. My Allan, the landlord. The nice guy whose kids I knew.
The story was incredible. He had been arrested for murder, for hiring hit men to kill his brother-in-law, Arthur Katz, in 1980. And as the story got out, it quickly became clear that Bob was the one who had ratted Allan out. Allan was found guilty and sentenced to 25 years to life in prison, where he remains today.
More time passed. I got a new apartment in the West Village. Then I got married, had children, and later moved to another state, where Allan and Bob became memories, proof that I had lived in New York back when crack was king and the murder rates topped 2,000 a year. In the late '90s, almost a decade after I'd last seen Bob or Allan, I was working on an investigative piece about money laundering. And a source at the Treasury Department had suggested I call this really smart prosecutor in New York named John Moscow.
So I rang him up and started just yakking the way you do. I asked him if he'd handled financial crime a lot. And he was quick to say that he'd worked homicide in New York, back in the '80s, during the crime wave, when crack was king and the murder rates topped 2,000 a year. Yeah, I said, I lived there, too. I told him I was actually involved in one of those tabloid stories, mine involving a landlord who'd hired contract killers to murder his brother-in-law and then gets ratted out by the super.
There was a peculiar pause on the phone. Then Moscow said, Allan Stern, West 99th Street? I'm the guy who put him behind bars. Right away, of course, we started talking about Bob. I told him the light bulb story. Moscow had a good laugh. And then I went on, in the way we residents of 99th Street can do, and finally got to the one about Bob claiming that he had a special exemption from the Brazilian constitution and could murder anyone in Brazil. Again, there was that odd Moscow pause. And then he said, yeah, the thing is that one's kind of true.
John Moscow
I asked him, when you were in the military, where were you assigned? I was in the military police.Jack Hitt
Here's John Moscow, describing Bob's testimony on the witness stand.John Moscow
And what was your job? My job was to locate, interrogate, and execute politically unreliable persons.Jack Hitt
Get out of here.John Moscow
Bob had been in the death squad in Brazil. And he was asked, did you kill any people while you were there? Yes. Was it more than one? Yes. Was it more than five? I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? Well, if you shoot somebody at long range and they go down, you don't know if they're dead or wounded.There's comes a point when you realize that beneath all of the fanciful stories, there usually is a substantial amount of truth. He said he came North for his health, and perhaps to protect his heart. But he was thinking about high-impact lead poisoning. He was in his 20s when he was in the death squad. And he realized, at one point, that a substantial number of people in his squad were dead of violent causes, which would be consistent either with their being suicidal in the risks they took or with somebody having a list of the names and where they were located, someone whose relatives had been mishandled. So he decided that leaving was good for his health.
Jack Hitt
All those crazy Bob stories we swapped for years, who'd have thought that the truth about Bob would be just as crazy? According to Moscow, not only had Bob been in a death squad, but he had been a key figure in the murder of Allan's brother-in-law. Bob was crucial in securing the talents of the two hit men, named Sammy Feet and Crazy Joe. And according to the court documents, Bob was in the boiler room with some of his crew when news of the hit came down. They celebrated with Martini & Rossi. And things really got going when a portable radio just happened to belt out that Queen song. You know the one.[MUSIC - "ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST" BY QUEEN]
The hit was just one of numerous crimes-- brilliant crimes, really-- that Bob and Allan pulled off from that little office. It turns out that when it comes to crime, Bob was incredibly competent. He and Allan set up dummy construction companies. They defrauded the state with counterfeit charges. To force out one tenant, they rewired the electrical outlets to high voltage lines to fry all the apartment appliances.
My favorite was their natural gas scam. They put fake cones out on the street and actually jackhammered through the asphalt to a working gas line. They bypassed the meters and in time, eliminated more than $800,000 of Allan's gas bills.
On top of all of this, Bob helped the prosecution snare Allan. Bob tapped Allan's phones. Bob wore a wire. And in court transcripts, Allan calmly weighs the relative merits of buying off some people versus having them killed. And this is what really comes across when you talk to Moscow, just how wrong all of us were at sizing up Bob and Allan.
My favorite was their natural gas scam. They put fake cones out on the street and actually jackhammered through the asphalt to a working gas line. They bypassed the meters and in time, eliminated more than $800,000 of Allan's gas bills.
On top of all of this, Bob helped the prosecution snare Allan. Bob tapped Allan's phones. Bob wore a wire. And in court transcripts, Allan calmly weighs the relative merits of buying off some people versus having them killed. And this is what really comes across when you talk to Moscow, just how wrong all of us were at sizing up Bob and Allan.
John Moscow
We had 2,200 homicides in New York as opposed to fewer than 500, which is what we're on for this year. You had a lot of people talking about killing people. There was a certain rationality and cold-bloodedness about this murder that was just plain different. Bob testified under oath at trial. I watched him when he was being cross-examined.And I don't think I'll ever forget. Defense counsel asked him, did you torture men or women? And he said, my specialty was men. And the way he said it, my blood felt about 10 degrees colder. And there was just absolute-- the courtroom, everyone was persuaded that he meant it.
Jack Hitt
So how did Bob, former Brazilian death squad officer, rat out Allan?John Moscow
Bob, I think, called tips to report the murder.Jack Hitt
Tips?John Moscow
Right.Jack Hitt
You mean the 1-800 number? Or one of the local crime reporting--John Moscow
The 1-877-TIPS, or whatever? Yeah. So he calls that. And then he goes and makes an appointment and meets with the Major Case Squad.Jack Hitt
What drove him to turn Allan in?John Moscow
Allan and his family had discussed selling the building and moving to Florida. And in the course of that, Allan had discussed having the president and the vice president of the Tenants Association murdered. And Bob figured that Allan was going to have these two guys whacked and blame Bob.Jack Hitt
What year was this?John Moscow
This was 1988.Jack Hitt
Now, I only bring that up because at one point, there was a rent strike that was going to be put together in my building. And I was the tenant leader of that. I mean, was that the rent problem that Allan was upset about?John Moscow
Unless there was another rent strike.Jack Hitt
Wow. So Allan might have actually tried to get me whacked.John Moscow
Ultimately, Bob went into the police station and admitted his own role in a murder, and thought he was going to prison, because his perception at the time was that Allan would cause these murders to take place. And so he protected himself by ratting Allan out first.Jack Hitt
So Bob turning state's evidence basically saved my life, or the life of the tenant organizers.John Moscow
That was Bob's thought.Jack Hitt
Listening to Moscow explain all this to me was like passing out on a plane and coming to, only to find out the plane had crashed and I had survived. It was just all unbelievable on some existential level. Yes, murders happened, but not to me. That guy who advised me during my little rent strike, his head was found in a garbage can. But he'd been a real rabble-rouser and had lots of enemies. It seemed ridiculous to believe I could have ended up like that tenant organizer. But I could have, if not for Bob.I found Bob. I reached him on the phone, and we had a nice chat. He remembers me as the tall, blond guy on the first floor. He wanted to talk to me for this story, but his lawyer told him not today, or ever. And then Bob suggested that I not bother to call back. I wanted to ask him about the cattle ranches and being written into the constitution and give those stories a fresh listen, knowing what I know now.
And of course, I wanted to know whether I was the one who was going to get whacked. I wasn't the only tenant organizer in the building at the time. But I'll never get that answer now. All I have is another Bob story, full of details I can't confirm, but so delicious that I can't wait to go back to my old pals and tell it to them.
Chris
Holy [BLEEP]. You've taken it to a whole new level, sir. Holy [BLEEP].Anne
That is scary.Chris
Whoa. That is so-- but it does make you sort of go back and rethink the whole pattern of exchanges you had with him. I never said to myself, there's some reality to who this guy says he is.Kevin
It doesn't surprise me, in a way.Jack Hitt
Again, here's Kevin.Kevin
I mean, it's talking about the banality of evil. He strikes me as one of these Eichmann-type characters who would, in certain contexts, do completely awful, disgusting things, and then, if removed from them, if put in some more peaceful banal surrounding, would settle back and just be a windy superintendent of a building.It was kind of interesting, though. After this was all over, after he had testified and Allan was put away-- of course, Allan's daughters, I believed, then owned the buildings. So of course, Bob lost his free apartment and his super's position. And it was almost like he kind of deflated. Like, nobody had to talk to him anymore.
So he would walk around-- it was almost pathetic-- he'd walk down the block and say hi and people would just kind of go by, nod to him and go by. And then, a short time after this, he just wasn't around anymore. He was gone. And I have no idea where he went to. Where is he, anyway? Did you find out any of that?
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