Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Places I Have Heard the Ocean
Places I Have Heard the Ocean
to my ear — though I'm told
this is the sound of my own
blood. I have heard the ocean
in the city: cars against
the beach of our street. Or in
the subway, waiting for a train
that carries me like a current.
In my bed: place of high and low
tide or in my daughter's skates,
rolling over the sidewalk.
Ocean in the trees when they
fill their heads with wind.
Ocean in the rise and fall:
lungs of everyone I love.
"Places I Have Heard the Ocean" by Faith Shearin, from Moving the Piano. © Stephen F. Austin University Press, 2011. Reprinted with permission.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Correct/Advice: give as an act of love, receive as an act of being wise
In a peer group, such as members of a lab or students of a class, it is easy to directly point out others‘ mistakes. The corrections usually aim for specific things with clearly right or wrong answers. There is not much emotion involved in corrections in such peer group scenarios. People are not likely to take the corrections personally.
But, when it comes to correct someone or give advice, especially someone close to you, correction becomes a delicate art. In a house, corrections and advice are to be given in an act of caring for them in the hope that they may realize their mistakes and follow your advice without getting hurt; corrections and good advice are to be received and followed in an act of seeking to be wise and grow in understanding.
Before giving advice, we have to check whether advice is needed. Sometimes, we do not need to give advice, instead, we should just should love. When a wife complains about problems she has or people she meets, she often is just looking for comfort rather than advice. However, the husband tend to give advice when he hears a problem. The husband's "too quick to give advice" often causes the wife feel hurt, thus the husband's advice is not appreciated. To avoid that, the husband should first give understanding and comfort, then check whether advice is needed before finally give the advice; while the wife should state clearly whether she is looking for comfort or advice before the complains.
If we see our beloved ones making mistakes, we should correct them but only in a humble way. We should be careful about the words we use for the correction. Only those for building up should be spoken. Even when our beloved ones disagree with us and do not appreciate our corrections, we should control our temper and not to quarrel with them. When being corrected or corrections being rejected, women are more sensitive and get hurt feelings which could easily lead to arguments. So women should be extra careful in giving correction/advice as well as receiving correction/advice.
Likewise, we should not be quick to reject any advice, and always willing to listen to and follow good advice which will make us wise. This means that we sometimes have to swallow our pride and receive the corrections humbly. It is better to live with the temporal humiliation than regrets.
Let us give correction/advice as an act of love. Let us receive correction/advice as an act of being wise.
But, when it comes to correct someone or give advice, especially someone close to you, correction becomes a delicate art. In a house, corrections and advice are to be given in an act of caring for them in the hope that they may realize their mistakes and follow your advice without getting hurt; corrections and good advice are to be received and followed in an act of seeking to be wise and grow in understanding.
Before giving advice, we have to check whether advice is needed. Sometimes, we do not need to give advice, instead, we should just should love. When a wife complains about problems she has or people she meets, she often is just looking for comfort rather than advice. However, the husband tend to give advice when he hears a problem. The husband's "too quick to give advice" often causes the wife feel hurt, thus the husband's advice is not appreciated. To avoid that, the husband should first give understanding and comfort, then check whether advice is needed before finally give the advice; while the wife should state clearly whether she is looking for comfort or advice before the complains.
If we see our beloved ones making mistakes, we should correct them but only in a humble way. We should be careful about the words we use for the correction. Only those for building up should be spoken. Even when our beloved ones disagree with us and do not appreciate our corrections, we should control our temper and not to quarrel with them. When being corrected or corrections being rejected, women are more sensitive and get hurt feelings which could easily lead to arguments. So women should be extra careful in giving correction/advice as well as receiving correction/advice.
Likewise, we should not be quick to reject any advice, and always willing to listen to and follow good advice which will make us wise. This means that we sometimes have to swallow our pride and receive the corrections humbly. It is better to live with the temporal humiliation than regrets.
Let us give correction/advice as an act of love. Let us receive correction/advice as an act of being wise.
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